To Influence, be a Happy Warrior*

 

Figure 1: Behavior for varied warmth/ strength (Cuddy)

The best way to gain influence is to combine warmth and strength. These traits are mutually reinforcing. Feeling a sense of personal strength helps us to be more open and less threatening/ threatened in stressful situations. A confident and calm individual exudes authenticity and warmth.

Heart first – mind next: Before we can win people’s minds, we have to win their hearts with warmth. During the initial 30 days most of us work hard to demonstrate our competence. We want to project strength and take every opportunity to demonstrate strength. We feel we are still being interviewed and strive to present the most innovative ideas in meetings, being the first to tackle a challenge, and working the longest hours.  In contrast, the first 30 days should be about establishing trust.

Without the foundation of trust there’s risk of eliciting fear and dysfunctional behaviours (Figure 1). Fear can undermine creativity and problem solving, and cause employees to even disengage. Trust increases information sharing, openness, fluidity, and cooperation. Trust also facilitates the exchange and acceptance of ideas—it allows people to hear others’ message—and boosts the quantity and quality of the ideas that are produced within an organization. Most important, trust provides the opportunity to change people’s attitudes and beliefs, not just their outward behaviour – core for successful influence.

Happy Warriors: Leaders who combine warmth and strength face troubles without being troubled. Their behavior is not relaxed, but they are relaxed emotionally. The effect of their demeanor on those around them is calming and energizing. They reassure us of success in whatever challenges we may face. President FDR fireside chats and President Obama’s 2008 campaign are examples.

How to Project Warmth	How to Project Strength
Smile—and mean it Smile sincerely, feeling happy makes us smile, and smiling makes us happy.	Feel in command Eliminate Self-doubt to project confidence, enthusiasm, and passion. Connect with yourself to connect with others.
Validate feelings Demonstrate that you hold similar views others do. For colleagues to listen and agree with you, first agree with them.	Posture Stand up straight. Reach your full height rather than slouching.
Find the right level Amp up the enthusiasm in your voice. Speak with lower pitch and volume with no pretense or emotional adornment.	Get ahold of yourself Move deliberately and precisely to a specific spot.
Posture Lean inward to signal interest and engagement. Keep your hands open and welcoming. Don’t stand with your chin pointed down.

 

Reference:

1.      Connect, Then Lead: Amy J.C. Cuddy, Matthew Kohut, and John Neffinger, Harvard Business Review, June/ July 2013.